head-meet-wall

Sometimes I wish you could just hear yourself speak. Just atop talking at me and listen to the things you barely hear. Maybe then you would understand, Why I hate you. It consumes me. Makes me burn from the inside out, And makes me wonder, How come you cannot see me burn? When I know how you feel so easily. Maybe it is because you wear your heart on your sleeve, And I've made sure mine is all locked up inside.

It hurts to walk. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to do anything but lie here and think. But even that is painful. But you know that. You made sure it was. You made sure it was too painful to do anything. God, I hate you. But... God, I fear you. If you ever returned, I wouldn't be able to do anything to stop  you. To stop you from doing it again. And probably what I fear most, Isn't even you coming back, And breaking me into pieces again. It's probably the look on their faces; The disappointment, the ridicule, When they finally realize why I don't ever want to talk about you. Why I freeze up when I think of you. But... No. T

Sometimes the things you say Leave me speechless They leave me waiting for more I feel so happy, Just being here Hanging on to your every word I love the way you sound Everything you say, It's just so elequant Like you've swallowed a dictionary And the words are just bursting out But in the most beautiful way possible. I'm so envious, But I don't ever want to be you. Because I'm happyest just listening to you.

I'm tired. Of being around you. I try my best to be cheerful, To be someone you can feel peaceful with. So I do my best. I try not to complain to much When you yell, swear, and stomp around. I try to calm you down, Because I know how hard it is for you. But it seems that everything you do, Causes you stress. So I tell you; "Take a day off. Just go have fun!" "FUN?!?" you say. "How can I have fun when there's so much to to? There are bills to pay, mouths to feed, things I could be doing!!!" I nod and try to accept this, because you say it is so. But; deep inside me; I pity you. Am sacared for you; love you; hate you; cry for you

I keep telling you that you shouldn't trust me, But you insist that you'll be fine. Now that you've been hurt, I'm not sure who to blame. You for being so foolish, Or me for letting you get hurt. I've been trying to fool myself into believeing that I don't care about you, But now that your hurt, I can't squash these feelings anymore. I really do care about you. Not love, mind you. More of a big brother kind of caring. And now your eyes open, And you look around frantically, Until you see me, And the lines on your face smooth into a smile. And I know that I'll never let you get hurt again, Because I love to see your smiling fa

I want to be noticed. It doesn't matter how I'll make a fool of myself; I'll say something amazing, That will leave everyone hanging On my every word. They'll stare and whisper 'Who is that girl?' And I'll be glowing Because I'll know that Someone had listened to me; I'm not as alone as I used to be. I'll smile secretly And not give my name, Make them seek me out To find out And maybe we'll be friends. But I won't stop there I'll keep going, My harem of friends still growing And my glow will eclipse the sun, Because I know my friends care about me, Every single one.

So here I am Looking all sophisticated Waiting for you to judge me. Butterflys in my stomach Making me tremble My knees are knocking My palms sweaty Wondering what you think Too much? Too little? I clasp my hands together My shoulders hunching, As I cower under your stare. Waiting for you to judge, To sentence me. Just give me the verdict! I scream silently. Let me be done with this waiting. And then you do. The edge of your mouth turns up, And a full flegded smile breaks out. "You look nice" You say as you wrap me in your arms And the butterflies fly away And a wonderful feeling takes root where they were. It fills m

So here I am Looking all sophisticated Waiting for you to judge me. Butterflys in my stomach Making me tremble My knees are knocking My palms sweaty Wondering what you think Too much? Too little? I clasp my hands together My shoulders hunching, As I cower under your stare. Waiting for you to judge, To sentence me. Just give me the verdict! I scream silently. Let me be done with this waiting. And then you do. The edge of your mouth turns up, And a full flegded smile breaks out. "You look nice" You say as you wrap me in your arms And the butterflies fly away And a wonderful feeling takes root where they were. It fills m

With friends like these, Who needs enemies? I know so well how much harm a careless word can cause, I've been the victim of so many. Words just thrown around, Not meaning to harm. But they still do No matter how small the hurt It still matters The cracks -though tiny- spread and grow. Without knowing, they're breaking me into pieces, Too small for me to put back together without help. And so I lay here broken Just hopeing for a few kind words. Just enough; to be the glue; so I can begin to piece myself together. But I will never be the same again. No matter how hard I try, I can't get back to my origional shape. That had bee

I can't believe what you've done Come over here like it was your right You came to laugh in my face Came over to reject my loving embrace. I thought we were doing fine I thought you felt the same as me, But no, you chose to reject me Just because I wouldn't jump to please you Because I wanted to take it slow. You were my first And I wanted to earn my time with you But I guess, Even though you laughed at my jokes And smiled when I held your hand You wanted more than I was willing to give. I think you might have hinted At what you wanted me to give, I think you might have lied to me About my friends, To try to get me into you